Throughout North America, the 4th annual recognition of National Child Centered Divorce will take place. This month we will focus on your children’s needs while transitioning through divorce.
Divorce can be a grueling battle that can negatively affect your children. Divorce is the death of a marriage and like death, many of the same emotions including grief, sadness, anger, doubt and fear are part of the divorce process. A divorcing parent is not the only one going through this difficult and trying time, the children regardless of their age, also suffer and have some of the same feelings as a divorcing parent does. It could lead to a child’s mistrust, anger, grief, depression and low self-esteem. It could affect their academics, behavior and coping skills. In this month of awareness, professionals are attempting to raise awareness of the issue to help divorcing parents achieve a more peaceful and knowledgeable divorce by focusing on your child’s needs.
Some of the worst things a parent can do that could have damaging effect on children during your divorce include: letting anger control them; speaking badly of their spouse to their children; and making the children feel that they have to choose sides. Parents have to polish up on their communication skills. Requiring the child to play messenger between parents is unfair and destructive. And don’t be a show off to your child, you don’t have to show him you are a “better parent” than the other. A harmonious and peaceful relationship for the sake of your child is best.
Rice Law has created a divorce workshop that will help you make the right decision. A decision not based on anger but a well thought out decision to have a peaceful and harmonious atmosphere for the children and for you. We recommend that you attend co-parenting classes for divorced parents to better understand how to help your child through your divorce. Dr. George Gates and Denise Scearce offer workshops in shielding children from conflicts that could arise from a badly handled divorce situation. We recommend you to go through counseling and talk to a mental health professional about the situation. Counseling is an important source of support for dealing with your emotions and feelings. It can also help you make rational decisions that are in your family’s best interests rather than approaching divorce as an ‘all out war.’ If all else fails and a divorce is necessary, take steps that will have positive, peaceful results for your children’s sake.
Avoid conflicts and get the support you need. Avoid putting your children in a situation you cannot handle in the future.